Happy Now?

I looked for you amidst the crowd, and I saw you laughing. I gazed at you, admiring your smile and your happy face. Your grinning face made all my weariness go away for some time. I was elated to see you happy.  Maybe this is what I wanted—your happy face! Maybe this is what I was craving!  But there was something melancholy about it. Maybe some promises and vows were left midway through the journey of our togetherness! But hey, I wanted to be happy. I wanted to smile and laugh, and I wanted to give you a bear hug, because all I have done lately is cry, and all I am becoming lately is a human without emotion, without love, and without his significant other. I wonder sometimes how you promised to smile, laugh, and cry together, and now when I see you happy without me, my heart aches!  Not because you are happy without me, but it aches because I’m not a part of your happiness anymore.  It hurts because now I don’t feel any sort of happiness in life without you!  But shall I be happy now?  Shall I be happy now because now you have your space and you are free? Shall I be happy because you are happy without me?  because all I ever wanted was to see you happy. (*happy with me)  Damn it!  ~wish

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